You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
