I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Houston, we have a squirter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize