a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
