Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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