then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
