Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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