Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
