batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
