hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
