what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
