hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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