I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
