Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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