Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
