You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize