It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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