Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
