youre lurking in front of me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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