Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
