We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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