I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
