Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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