It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
