So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
