We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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