dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Don't make out with my wife yet
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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