she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
