Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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