All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize