I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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