On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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