I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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