I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
