He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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