Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming

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  (765): that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming http://tfl.nu/05mh
  Replies (2) Good night (2069) Bad night (597)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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  (703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj
  Replies (32) Good night (3100) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw

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  (856): I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw http://tfl.nu/7ysm
  Replies (9) Good night (1190) Bad night (2374)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.

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  (267): I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys. http://tfl.nu/6bet
  Replies (27) Good night (4832) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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  (919): please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys http://tfl.nu/inic
  Replies (21) Good night (1073) Bad night (4833)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me

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  (707): its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me http://tfl.nu/kg6n
  Replies (11) Good night (1936) Bad night (3397)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.

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  (281): The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/4mrf
  Replies (20) Good night (1577) Bad night (2867)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes

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  (225): it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes http://tfl.nu/e457
  Replies (8) Good night (2628) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1638) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2885) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm driving while wearing hulk hands

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  (954): I'm driving while wearing hulk hands http://tfl.nu/9u1l
  Replies (9) Good night (1903) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
  Replies (4) Good night (1503) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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  (214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz
  Replies (5) Good night (2641) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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  (720): I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry. http://tfl.nu/lrky
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.

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  (281): If I had feelings, you would have hurt them. http://tfl.nu/50o6
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (203)

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