Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep

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  (586): I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep http://tfl.nu/zumz
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (605)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

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  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2080) Bad night (524)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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  (712): I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up. http://tfl.nu/k85m
  Replies (14) Good night (4332) Bad night (1265)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."

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  (541): Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance." http://tfl.nu/5agg
  Replies (36) Good night (7215) Bad night (820)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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  (732): My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day http://tfl.nu/6zjk
  Replies (15) Good night (5743) Bad night (578)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?

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  (630): Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions? http://tfl.nu/adl4
  Replies (16) Good night (3087) Bad night (632)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (9594) Bad night (1938)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (1891) Bad night (1157)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.

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  (919): I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage. http://tfl.nu/i318
  Replies (7) Good night (1200) Bad night (3444)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.

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  (505): Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/q053
  Replies (25) Good night (1604) Bad night (3173)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3579) Bad night (876)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!

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  (956): WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?! http://tfl.nu/nv7y
  Replies (12) Good night (1770) Bad night (549)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.

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  (814): I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography. http://tfl.nu/gojc
  Replies (4) Good night (2088) Bad night (476)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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  (289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r
  Replies (4) Good night (353) Bad night (621)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

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  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (215)

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