he wants to bone in the snuggie
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
