Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".