okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.