I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
