my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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