My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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