how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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