Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
