He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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