suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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