i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
