Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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