i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
