they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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