I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
