he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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