UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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