plz talk dirty to me
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize