You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
