it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.