He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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