Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
