I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
