I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
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I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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