Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
false alarm, still single
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
