Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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