um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
