The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
